Dealing with Difficult People

Working in HR (and really any other people oriented occupation) has shown that dealing with people who drive you up a wall has to be an acquired skill. Honestly. There is nothing more irritating and draining than waking up in the best of moods, dressing nicely because of said mood and then starting your day at work with Oscar the Grouch sitting right next to you, or interacting with you via some other medium. I have to say, this has become a norm of sorts in the workplace and it is one of the thing I truly detest about it. While not all days are like this, it does make navigating your day a bit trickier. Here’s why. In our society and in (almost) every home, we are taught to be mannerly, respectful and not to forget the well-known phrase: “If you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all.” Sometimes this truly is the tried and true method to abide by because if you don’t, let’s just say that a letter of discipline may end up on your file by the end of that conversation – if you can actually call it that. Other times though, you really do have to open your mouth and talk about the issues. Talking about problems we have with each other and/ or something the other person has done can be sticky business, particularly if the person in question is extremely defensive in nature and has a history of reacting negatively (and/or violently, whether physically, verbally or emotionally) to these types of conversations.

Situations like these allow you to learn three things: 1) What kind of approach you take to get rid of conflict ​Everyone has different ways of handling conflict. Some blatantly avoid it by simply not entertaining the thought that there is a conflict in the first place. Others accommodate the other person in question, preferring to have them be satisfied rather than have their own interests satisfied. There are those who compromise and have both parties get something they both want out of it, though they won’t be completely satisfied. You’ll also find the competitive person who will stick to their guns and be completely uncooperative no matter the situation. This isn’t always a bad approach though because it can be really useful if you have to make a decision and are seriously pressed for time! The last type of person you’ll meet is the collaborative. These are the people who listen (actively!) and are able to effectively understand the other person’s side as well as explain their own and work with the person to have a mutually beneficial resolution. 2) What your tolerances are and how long you can put up with something. When I say tolerance, I mean all the things you allow, purposely or not, to continue around you. My way of thinking is that whatever you allow to go on in your presence, you are okay with. While you may not be in an immediate position to have that change or say something without causing conflict, you may be able to remove yourself from that situation. A lot of times we simply don’t say or do anything because we know that everyone else is okay with whatever it is, but that is exactly why you should say something. A great example is if you are a religious person and the others in your work space blare crude music. If you do not say ask them to either turn it down or switch to a less offensive station, the subliminal message is that “Oh, (s)he’s cool with it.” It can also cause there to be raised questions about your integrity and morale. Another issue is that if you simply report it to your supervisor or manager because it has gotten so overbearing, without saying anything to your colleagues beforehand, they will grow to resent you because they will wonder why you didn’t just ask them in the first place. That’s a disaster in the making. 3) STAND YOUR GROUND It’s not uncommon to feel pressured into doing something or agreeing to something that you really disagree with. Keeping your decision and position why clear at all times not only proves that you are completely sure about something, but you will also gain respect among your colleagues (and peers). I’m not saying that if you realise that you are wrong, you keep up wrong and strong. It’s good to admit that you’re wrong too. Believe it or not, that will also raise the level of respect people have for you.The last thing I want to leave with you is simply this: YOU CAN GET BY WITHOUT COMMITTING MURDER. (Hahaha!) I know it’s funny but still, just remember to take 5 minutes out of your day when you’re doing something stressful, gather your thoughts, calm your mind and attack it again like the true gangster you are when it comes to knocking off work. Until my next post, Stay Royal!

About the Author

Tonia Durrant is an amateur photographer, avid writer and a people's person. She lives on a small island called Barbados located in the Caribbean. In her spare time she not only writes for this blog, but creates short stories. She believes that every man and every woman is royalty and should be treated as such. She has worked in Human Resources for the past year.